Uchiha Acts: 5 Thoughts to Calm a Female
by kizumichan
Summary: Sasuke and Sakura, alone, bored, nothing to do. Sakura was being quite violent and Sasuke was terrified. Full Summary inside. SASUSAKU-nuff said.


Hello. My first fanfic. Enjoy.

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Summary: **://SASUSAKU//:**

Sasuke and Sakura, alone, bored, nothing to do. Sakura was being quite violent and Sasuke was as scared as hell. He tries to come up with ways to calm her down while they just sit and wait for Naruto to come back from his break. 5 Crazy thoughts, one cute ending….ish.

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NOTE:

**Just so you won't get confused, all the "ACTS" are in Sasuke's head which don't happen literally. **

**They're both around the age of 17 to 18 and are just on a after mission break. **

**So yeah, here, Sasuke's back and uh… just continuing…life. **

**He's in love with Sakura and Sakura doesn't know. **

**There, There, not so confusing now. **

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. THE NARUTO SERIES IS FREAKIN AWESOME THOUGH. **

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**U**

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**A**

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Konoha

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_L_eaf _village._

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M_i_d-d_ay_ aft_er_noon.

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_A_ sw_e_ets sho_p_.

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A b_en_ch.

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_A_ te_am_.

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**_Sasu_**ke and **_Saku_**ra.

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**.**

A female that was around the age 17. Creamed legs, black sandal boots. Perfect hips, Black bike shorts and a light pink skirt with open sides. A medium chest, Red sleeveless shirt with a white open circle on the back. Hearted face, bright emerald eyes and peach lips. And to top it all of with short Pink hair and bangs on the sides.

Ah, yes.

Sakura Haruno.

Black sandals that were higher around the legs, black pants, some over cloth, and a purple rope that tied it up. A long simple katana wedged between the cloth and the rope. Arms with dark blue warmers that started around the wrists and up just about under the elbows and a tad bit lower. Like half gloves but not covering the hands. A white shirt with short sleeves that had a tall collar to fit around the neck and higher, a zipper that ended around the middle half of the shirt. The zipper was slightly pulled down, exposing a lean, muscular chest, fit for any ninja. Black spiked raven hair that framed around a pale skinned man with deep black onyx eyes and a mouth that had no expression or whatsoever.

Sasuke Uchiha.

"..yaawwwnnn…..mngh…" The young female had outstretched her arms out in front of her, lacing her fingers together. She moved her long legs out from under the wooden seat and stretched them also, placing her palms on her knees and feeling the relaxed muscles on her sides.

The man beside her had been staring for quite a long time at the ground, not focusing much on anything else, nor not even mumbling or murmuring at least a sound.

"…Ne…Sasuke-kun…" The girl had managed to say through the passing silence between them. Though the stoic expression his face remained the same, not even moving an inch, not even sparing a quick glance to notify that he was listening.

"….Sasuke-kun…" Still, he didn't move.

"..mm…Sasuke-kuun…" Her face started to get a tad bit annoyed. Yet, he still didn't move.

"…..Sasuuukeee-kuuunnn….." Her voice still annoyed reaching a limit. Yet, he still didn't move.

"….SASUKE!!!" She shouted, raising her arms out and up her face in pure anger, fangs forming on her teeth. The sudden paroxysm of the kunoichi had startled the man at last, causing him to jolt and land his arm behind him for support on the seat so he wouldn't stumble back.

"W-what?!" he nearly stated, a sharp tone had retorted back at her.

Twitch. "What, you're asking?! Are you even listening?!" She frowned, right eye twitching even more.

"I am now!" he glared, piercing his gaze directly back at her bright….very bright…extremely bright…bright bright…neon green eyes that were glaring back at his plain, simple onyx orbs.

( And thank Kami-sama they were or else this trouble would've been worse. No, literally, with bright eyes back at each other, it wouldn't turn out right between them…)

"My eyes are _**not **__that_ bright. They're not even neon either." She stated with a very angry monotone-ish voice.

"…What?" he said, confused how she knew that.

"…never mind, anyway!!" She stood up, crossing her arms and swiftly turning her head towards the road where most of the other Konoha citizens were walking. "Where the heck is NARUTO?!?!?" she yelled, causing Sasuke to flinch.

'I can't believe I have to put up with this woman…' he said simply in his head, twitching his eyes. "How the heck should I know?!"

"Argghh!!! He said he would be RIGHT back and then now he's gone for like… 5 hours!! Making us wait like this…grr….he better be expecting his head shoved down in the toilet…." Sakura was having a fit right now, very agitated. She fisted her hands under her folded arms and plumply sat right back down, letting out a very….scary breath….

Sasuke had just stared at her for quite sometime, wondering how to make her mood a little more…. I don't know…sweet? More gentle? INSTEAD OF SOME HORSE WITH SUPERHUMAN STRENGHTH HAVING ANGER TANTRUMS AT THE MOMENT?!?! She could bash his head on the wall right now if he said anything wrong that would worsen the mood.

But…

How _**was**_ he supposed to do that. For goodness sake, he was an Uchiha. And Uchiha don't please women to calm them down. NO. **NO. **Especially Sasuke himself.

This people…is an impossible solution for Uchiha Sasuke to do. Sad to hear, I know.

Sasuke thought up in his head just how exactly would that look like anyway…

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_**ACT 1:**_

_Sasuke stood up, right in front of Sakura. _

"_Sasuke?! What are you doing?!" she screamed, squirming a bit by his sudden action and trying to move back because of his closeness. Ohh….really close…_

_He moved even more closer, inches away from her shocked and confused face. Thinking carefully, he tried to do an appealing smirk that would make just about any girl fall to his knees. _

_Sakura's face risen in disgust, curving part of mouth down a bit. 'What's he doing…' she thought. _

_He pronounced her name in the most alluring and sexiest tone he could possible make before getting cut off. _

"_Saku--MPH!!!" w00t. Score. One tremendous punch, smack dab, on his gorgeous face. _

"_Y-You're too close!! What the heck are you doing, you asshole!!" she yelled, angry once again. _

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'Uuuhh….no. Scratch that. That definitely won't work. '

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_**ACT 2: **_

_They were both sitting down on the bench, waiting for Naruto to come back after his so called "5 hour break" leaving a huffing, vein twitching Sakura and silent Sasuke alone in front of the small eatery. _

_He gulped, nervous if the pink beast was going to attack, maybe dent his head on the wall, kick and step on his head on the ground… ugh…calm down.._

_Trying to think carefully in his genius Uchiha brain, only one suggestion had managed to pass through his thick head of many other stupid ways to calm the girl down. _

'_Now what was it…um…something with…uh…Sai. Yeah, he said something about this once…' Sasuke thought._

_Flashybacky :3 ~_

"Ah, Uchiha-san, hello." The short black haired artist waved his palm in the air.

Sasuke glanced at his "double." "You seem to be alone…" He inquired, seeing the raven haired man sitting on a stone bench.

"…and?" Sasuke started to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"You seem upset."

"Do I look upset?"

"…Yes."

"..um..no, I'm not…"

"..No, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Were you dumped by a girl?"

"Th-The fuck? No!"

"Hmm…you sure do look like you're sulking.."

"Wha-no!! Ngh, Sai, just leave me alone."

"Don't worry, I'll cheer you up." he smiled, thumbs up.

"No thanks, I- … I- ….what are you doing..?" Sasuke was starting to sweat, wondering or expecting what this guy was actually going to do. Besides, any stupid move would make this man end up flying to Pluto….Nah, Pluto's not a planet. Correction: make this man end up buried underground, head severed. Yeah, much better. Much Much better.

Sai kept his usual face on, smiling his curved lips and standing there like some bright idiot. He stepped his foot forward, causing the Uchiha twitch a little. He stepped his other foot forward, getting closer to him. Pacing once again, he was right beside the scowling man.

Without hesitation, he sat down onto the bench, right beside him.

Sasuke on the other hand was VERY uncomfortable, glaring Sai's death in his black eyes.

Sai just sat there, smiling as usual as if nothing was going on but he wasn't really reading the atmosphere…

He lifted his arm up and wrapped it around Sasuke's neck, jolting suddenly and pulling him closer. Sasuke was in his death sentence, he could feel it.

Sai turned his head towards the scowling guy and made his face come closer.

'Now I'm sure this was what the book said…' Sai thought, getting closer.

Sasuke's face was twitching with anger. 'This Is so wrong, This is SO wrong!!!'

He balled his hands into fists and collided his knuckles into Sai's stomach, taking his life Oxygen out of him and leaving the good daylights out of him.

"You're too fucking close, what the hell are you doing?!?!" Sasuke yelled, disgusted and standing up.

"What..? No, I-" Sai was confused why his plan didn't work as how he expected.

"Argh, no wonder why Naruto thought you were gay!!" Sasuke turned on his hell and stomped off.

'What? Gay? How did that happen?! No, I was trying to just hug him…' Sai flipped through the pages and read some context of his book, wondered what went wrong. Now what he DIDN'T know was that the book he was reading was a Romance novel, accidentally placed in the "friendship" section.

~End of FlashBack.

--

'_*cough* *cough* That was a very weird memory… Gah, oh well, It won't hurt to try it…or will it…?' he thought. _

_Sasuke was sweating in contempt, wondering if Sakura was still angry. By the looks of it, she still was. From the growling to the deep hole she had been kicking to keep her composure…….yeah, she was still angry. _

'_Ahem, here goes nothing…' Sasuke thought lastly before sitting up straight, closing his eyes. His left hand twitched, being placed beside him and Sakura. He tried to inch closer, making his hand move around the woman's waist. _

_Sakura snapped out of her devious thoughts about torturing Naruto to death. Her eyes looked down to where he waist was. Right there, was Sasuke's arm. Around her waist. Around her FREAKIN' waist. Her slim and perfect waist, was being wrapped, by the guy's arm. Her waist was- okay, moving on. Sakura lifted up her gaze to man that was sitting next to her. His face was still looking forward, eyes also straight. 'What's he…what's he doing?!' Inner Sakura screamed inside her head. _

_Sasuke gulped, wondering if he was going to die any second now. 'Calm down, keep going…' His fingers were shaking but not enough for Sakura to notice. He tightened his grip around her side and tried pulling her closer. … . . … Yeah, she didn't do anything……yet. She was still glaring at him though. Not a good sign. He pulled her close all the way until their sides were just about touching. 'Okay, good. Doing good so far…' Sasuke thought, beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Loosening his tight hold on her for a bit and sliding his hands up through her arm to her elbow and higher up to her shoulder until he reached her neck. His arm was around her shoulders. He quickly glanced at her face, swallowing his dry throat. 'Damn, her skin's so smooth!! Argh!! Sh-She's still glaring…her eyebrow's twitching…no punches yet…okay.' _

_Sakura was getting skeptical on whether or not he was doing this for fun or if he was serious. 'No wait, is he doing the moves on…on me?!' Sakura's face stiffened. Knowing what could happen next. Smoochie Smoochie..? Her brows furrowed together, crinkling her nose a little. 'No…no it can't be..' she thought in horror. _

_Sasuke closed his eyes and let out a silent sigh. Reopening them, he slowly turned his head to her, each turn was stiff so he looked like some nervous robotic idiot. His pale cheeks were extremely warm, which was quite obvious now to Sakura since she got a good view of his uh… his uh…face. Sasuke tried to tear his gaze away from her but he knew if he stopped now, he would end up in the gutter. His facial features however, were slightly trembling with fear because of Sakura's murderous aura. 'Oh shit.' _

_Sakura's forehead popped up a vein. 'Crap, he…he is going to…' Sakura tried to mask her embarrassment with her maddening features. And of course, she was doing perfectly well with that, making the Uchiha very frightened. _

'_H-here goes…' Sasuke finally thought, ready to move closer. His head was just a few seconds away from her plump peach and cute …. Scowling…fanged…lips. 'I…I can do this…' he thought. Lowering his eyes, and closing them once more. _

'_SHIT!!! SHIT!! DO SOMETHING, SAKURA!!' Sakura was as stiff as a stoned statue, trying to at least move back from his slightly puckered lips. Ahh…no, she can't move. ' O SHIT, O SHIT, O SHIT. THIS IS NOT GOOD. DO SOOOOOOOMETHINGG!!!!!!' Sakura was starting to panic from his face, he was just and inch away, his shaky yet warm breath was just on her lips. …. 'THAT'S IT!!!' A light bulb with flashy lights and confetti sprouted out her head. _

_Just in time when they were about kiss, she had urm… supposedly slapped his face from hers, leaving a very red mark on his oh so beautiful cheek. _

_Hahahahahahaa……..well that's that. _

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'…..No. I guess that won't work either. '

Sasuke was still sitting there, right beside Sakura who was still glaring but at the sunset now.

Okay, still nothing. No Naruto yet.

'..Hmm…maybe something…perverted…?'

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_**ACT: 3**_

_Sasuke was thinking about turning Sakura "ON." If that could help somehow. That __**might **__be able to please her and calm her down. _

…

…

…

_Except…how __**are**__ you supposed to make her horny if she's mad as hell?! _

_.._

…

_They were both sitting right next to each other, staring out into the distance and waiting for Naruto to come back after his "5 hour break." _

…

…

_He could come up with crappy and corny lines…_

_Or maybe…grope her…?_

…

…

_Maybe. _

…

_He could look sexually aroused…_

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_Sasuke sighed and though in complexion as Sakura was just thinking about how Naruto could have such a painful death. He had a bored expression which was actually a nervous one because he wasn't sure what exactly was he supposed to do to get her to uh.. Get it on. It might calm her down… maybe make her wild but… at least she wouldn't be angry. _

_He folded his arms and thought desperately to just "make a move" and get her to calm down. _

_Finally deciding, he carefully, and slowly, scooted closer to her. Arms still folded over his chest, and same bored expression, so far so good. He was moving without Sakura detecting because of her stern thoughts so focused. She had a sinister smile on her cocky lips as she thought of Naruto being beat up with multiple Sakuras doing her famous beastie punch. Some Sakuras had flamethrowers, some had machineguns, and some had chainsaws. My, My, Sakura was feeling quite violent at the moment. _

_Sasuke was feeling a little awkward as he sensed her unfocused murderous purple aura. _

_One more quick slide and he would be right next to Sakura. Though taking precaution, he decided that he was close enough anyway. _

'_Okaayy…um, I'm right next her and now what to do…' he thought intently before thinking up something that was perfect. _

_He shut his eyes calmly and lifted his fisted hand up to his mouth and took a deep breath. _

_3.…2.…1- Sasuke cleared his throat with a muffled "A-HEM" which caught Sakura's attention. _

_Her beautiful dream was disrupted and she shot her head away from it and turned her head towards the noise which came from the Uchiha next to her. "..Hm..? -What the?!" Why is Sasuke so…so…close?! _

_She lifted up her arm that was between them. "Uh…yes?"_

_Sasuke's eyebrows twitched and got ready for his following actions which he would deeply regret later on. He was going to slaughter himself and choke his neck, bury himself somehow….in…in…CANADA. Yeah. That's far enough. _

'_Alright, here's the most stupid decision.' Sasuke though clearly. _

_His hand that was up on his mouth moved down to the hem of his pants. His fingers twitched and slowly cupped his clothed…balls, rubbing them gently. _

"_S-Sakura…I know you like sweets…do you want a p-popsicle..? I bet you can suck nicely…" Sasuke managed to choke out in a hotly manner, but lamenting what he just said. His face was so red, but if you could interoperate it in another way which was the wrong one. His inner ranted out, 'TO CANADA!!! TO CANADA!! WE'RE OFF TO CANADA!! WE'LL DIE TOGETHER!!' He gulped, readying himself for whatever she was about to say._

_Sakura was…. Sakura was…. Having a major breakdown. No, it was mentally. She thought, 'TH-THE FUCK?! WHA-WHAT?!?! WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!?!' _

_They were both sitting on the wooden bench, in a very uncomfortable silence. 5 seconds passed. 10 seconds passed. 30 seconds passed. Sasuke was in utter silence, inside his head, he was repeating his will and muttering about how much he enjoyed his life. His eyes were lined closed, eyebrows furrowed and twitching. Sakura was still frozen, her bangs covering her eyes which darkened her face. Her lips were parted open, but not in a romantic way, more like a shocked way. _

_Sakura's voice had cracked the suppressing silence and said, " ….. What was that, Sasuke? I'm afraid I didn't hear you clearly. " She beamed up, her expression was quite stiff, but she forced to smile. 'I HOPE I didn't hear clearly. I HOPE I didn't hear clearly. ' she echoed in her head._

_Sasuke's hand twitched. 'Did she just say what I think she just said…?' How was he supposed to repeat himself?! One sentence was already enough, wasn't it?! WASN'T IT?! His lips pressed together, forming a line. Gulping down, he opened his mouth. _

"_Y-You heard me. I'm horny, a-and I want you to s-suck…m-me." Sasuke stuttered, his hand not moving anymore because he was too nervous and scared of whatever was in store for him. _

_Sakura's head just tilted to the side and made a loud crack. Sasuke jolted from the sudden sound and turned mechanically to Sakura's nerved face. _

_O SHIT, NOT A GOOD IDEA. _

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' Gah, never mind. A veeeery bad idea. Stupid, Stupid, Sasuke!! '

Um…he could try being Romantic and say he loves her…

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_**ACT: 4 **_

_Sasuke stood up and walked in front of Sakura. _

_The girl with her arms crossed and fists clenched turned her intense murderous eyes towards the Uchiha that was standing in front of her. _

_Sasuke, was just calm, eyes closed. Smoothly, he kneeled down and placed his hands on her shoulders, making a mid sound - "PAT"_

_He rose his eyelids and gazed on her face with the most loving eyes he could possibly make. His lips slightly parted, and some bangs around his face to make the perfect, "Sexy-Sasuke-face."_

_Sakura's left eye twitched, her cold and hard stare still burning holes through his gorgeous face. _

"_Sakura." He stated, her name rolled of his tongue in such an alluring way. _

"_I LOVE Y-" He got cut off from his romantic sentence of his with a nice retort. _

"_Fuck off." she said, veins twitching. _

_( O __ O ) …_

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' ……. Nevermind. I won't even continue that. '

How about some food? They **were **in front of a sweets shop.

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_**ACT: 5**_

_Again, here were the two just sitting down on the plain wooden bench beside a nice small eatery that held quite an assortment of snacks and food. They were waiting for their blonde friend who had previously left and simply said, "I'll be right back!! I just have to go do something, don't worry, it'll be quick!!" and back with a reply of "Sure, Naruto." said Sakura. "Hn, you better be back, dobe." said the stoic team mate. _

_And NOW, the friend was not back yet after about…. 5 hours? Leaving the two impatiently waiting. _

_Sasuke was peacefully sitting, just thinking about Sakura's silky hair running through his long fingers. Wait…what? Ahem, peacefully sitting and thinking about SHURIKEN BEING THROWN AT A WOODEN TAGET AS IT CRACKS AND MAKES A FEW PIECES FLY OFF. YES, AND KUNAI KNIVES BEING CLASHED AGAINSTED EACH OTHER and…and…landing swiftly beside his friend. Her gentle smile and sweet voice pushing him on from his intense training and… NO. Sasuke had apparently been having trouble keeping his female companion from entering his thoughts. Right now, he was doing a horrible job on keeping her out of his head. _

_Sakura, having a short temper, was busily rummaging through her murderous intent of killing and severing the fox boy as soon as he got back. She was going to choke out his excuse of words and make him eat it back and then kick his idiotic ass into a wall for so she will HURT THAT GUY IF IT'S THE LAST THING SHE'LL DO. CHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Yeah, they were bored. _

_Through the passing silence, a growl had managed to come by into Sakura's empty stomach, making her pause and delete from her thoughts and down to her body. She turned her head down, facing her upset stomach from the lack of food. She placed a palm over her flat tummy. _

_Sasuke had also heard of the quiet growl that was going through the silence. He looked at Sakura and then down to her tummy as well, noticing her hand on top. And then moving down his gaze to her creamed legs that were so long and sexy. So touchab- NO. 'Shit, Sasuke, don't get so carried away. ' he said to himself. He shook his head and went back to the problem. _

"_Um…hungry?" he flatly said. _

"…_yeah…but I don't have money right now." she said, in a straight-toned voice. "I owed Naruto on a bet and I spent just about all my savings on his freakin' ramen…" she murmured. _

_BINGO. BINGO 'O A DILLIO. BING BING BING!!! Sasuke's head clicked. He's Uchiha Sasuke. The man who was left from the Uchiha Clan. The man that had murdered his brother which made him the only Uchiha left. (Besides Madara Uchiha that is, but he doesn't count since he's something different.) ANYHOO, the man who inherited everything which made him rich. W00t, score….again. _

_AAAAND!!!! AAANNNDDD!!! It's a great opening for Sasuke to treat Sakura to some food. _

_:D _

"_I…I can buy you some." he offered, in pure happiness inside his head. _

"…_really?" Sakura said, surprised by the offer. Especially since this guy was anti-social. Su lyke, wat da effin Ef? _

" _Yeah, anything you want." Sasuke nodded, standing up. _

_Sakura just stared. After some passing seconds, she smiled her cute grin, perfect white teeth shown for the Uchiha to galore. "Thank you, I would like that." she said, standing up and walking right beside him. _

'_S-so cute..' he inwardly blushed. Urging himself to move forward, they both heading inside the small shop. _

…_It's too sweet…._

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'…As much as I'd like for this to happen, I doubt it would anyway…' Sasuke thought.

He glanced to his side, watching Sakura who was about to fall asleep. ……wait, fall asleep?!

She-She's not angry…anymore? ( O . O )

Dot dot dot…

Here they were waiting for Naruto to get back but since he hasn't, they had been waiting patiently for him, and just sitting peacefully on a wooden bench, in front of a sweets shop, in Konoha.

During their waiting, Sakura tried to talk to Sasuke which lead to her yelling and into an angering fit. Sasuke, all he could think of, was to try to calm her down. But…he didn't know how, so for the passed 2 hours or so, he had been contemplating on how exactly he was supposed to do that. And during those two hours, Sakura had calmed down, not even thinking about killing Naruto or anything. More like thinking about falling in love. Maybe with Sasuke again….

Sasuke was just staring and gazing softly at her face, watching her as she would close her eyelids and flutter them open again. It was a pleasant sight for him, a beautiful one too. Just watching her cute face that would fall asleep and then try to snap back up.

His face became a little pink, watching her face intently. Though, too bad Sakura hadn't noticed his gaze at all for she was half asleep.

Unable to quite hold his urge, he softly wrapped his arm around her shoulder, carefully and gently. His palm rested on her shoulder and he pulled her close to his chest, making her close her eyes and unconsciously moving her arms up and snuggling closely to his warm chest. Sasuke just stared, watching her back, as it rose and fell from her breathing. He moved up his other arm and placed it on one of her arms, slowly rubbing his thumb on her smooth skin. Hm…it was smooth…really smooth…

After a few minutes in their same state, Sasuke had managed to drift into a quiet slumber as well, resting his cheek on her soft pink hair that had an amazing sweet aroma. Not too strong and not too faint, just the scent that lingered into him.

The scene was so peaceful, the two just sleeping onto each other. So sweet. In the soft spring sunlight that was shining upon them as a cherry blossom came into view, flying across the sleeping couple.

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End.

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That is, until Naruto came back from his "8 hour past time of what ever the heck he was doing" and stopped right in front of the two who were still asleep.

…

"THE HELL?!"

Sasuke and Sakura had fluttered their eyes open and noticed the position they were in.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…….

…

…

**O SHIT.**

**________________________________________________________________________**

**Thanks for reading. :D**

**Cookies and More Cookies for you.**

**Sasuke: *gasp* *gasp* I'M ALIVE!!! I'M ALIVE!!!**

**Sakura: ....hi.....**

**Naruto: whut. I wan't even in that story....**


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